Monday, September 12, 2011

Something I'd like you to know.

Dear friends, minor acquantences and folks I've never even met before who are surrounding myself, my partner and everything else,

  I'm not alright. I'm really mad that you expect me to be. My baby died, not even a year ago. Sometimes that makes people weird and antisocial for awhile. Often it makes me full of anxiety with a complete inability to relate to others. Sometimes I see people I completely adore on the street and avoid them because I didn't have time to emotionally prepare to talk to them. So, if I see you at the co-op or anywhere else and refrain from polite chit chat please give me some space. Please don't go whining to my partner about it, he has enough to worry about and when I hear about it I DO start disliking you. I'm not ok and sometimes I don't care to talk to you or anyone else. Don't take it personally and give me some space to be traumatized without being judged on top of it. Everybody doesn't have to be your friend. Sometimes I just want to buy some vegetables and be left alone. Sometimes it takes me days or weeks to respond to emails. Being alright again takes time. I've made my world and daily dealings as small as possible because I'm not ready to be a part of all of it yet and I can't handle it. And no, I don't want a therapist or my chakras realigned but thank you for your concern.
 Sincerely, April

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